Best FX

Depression is merely anger without enthusiasm

Electricity is really just organized lightning.

Curiosity killed the cat, but for a while I was a suspect.

99% of lawyers give the rest a bad name.

A conclusion is the place where you get tired of thinking.

Sometimes I need what only you can provide: your absence.

It's a catastrophic success.

Close enough for government work.

It's close enough... We ain't building a fricken' watch.

I feel so miserable without you, it's almost like having you here.

History teaches us that men and nations behave wisely once they have exhausted all other alternatives.

Marriage is the chief cause of divorce.

I never forget a face, but in your case I'll be glad to make an exception.

I find television very educating. Every time somebody turns on the set, I go into the other room and read a book.

The trouble with her is that she lacks the power of conversation but not the power of speech.

He has no enemies, but is intensely disliked by his friends.

Some cause happiness wherever they go; others whenever they go.

Reader, suppose you were an idiot. And suppose you were a member of Congress. But I repeat myself.

He has never been known to use a word that might send a reader to the dictionary.

He has Van Gogh's ear for music.